Have Fun and Lose Weight

Riding in Christmas Parade
The feds won’t let me promise you anything, but let’s just say that anyone reading my comedy/thriller novel Jock Stewart and the Missing Sea of Fire might just laugh their butt off.

Now, for some people, that’s going to be a hell of a lot of weight lost in only 220 pages for only $11.86! The price is lower on Kindle.

So, it’s win/lose for everyone.

Really Brief Excerpt

Jock’s dear old daddy always said, “Jock, take my word for it. Sloppy people are all going to hell.” He also said, “If a man smells like a whore house, he’s going to hell.” Smith had two strikes against him today and it wasn’t even noon yet.

“What did Lucinda Trail have to say?” asked Jock while Smith was licking his plate like an all day sucker.

Smith almost dropped the plate.

“Are your people following me around?”

Jock shrugged. “That, plus you’re wearing her perfume.”


It was an honor being among the local authors serving as grand marshals in this year’s Christmas parade in Jefferson, Georgia. The theme was “A Storybook Christmas.” Each of the authors tossed handfuls of candy to the kids along the 40-minute route. I’m shown here in the photograph with my wife, Lesa.

Malcolm

Interview with Author Helen Osterman

It’s a pleasure to welcome Helen Macie Osterman, author of the new novel “Notes in a Mirror.”

The year is 1950. The place is Hillside State Mental Hospital, a dark brooding place, located outside of Chicago. At the time, the treatment of the mentally ill is archaic, consisting of hydrotherapy, electroshock and Insulin coma therapies, and, in the extreme, pre-frontal lobotomy. Tranquilizers and anti-psychotic drugs have not yet appeared.

In this atmosphere of hopelessness and despair come student nurses from nearby hospitals for their three-month psychiatric rotation. Mary Lou Hammond and Kate Stephens are two of these young girls.

Malcolm: During your 45-year nursing career, you wrote articles for medical journals. What tempted you into turning to fiction?

Helen: I was always a dreamer. As a child I made up stories in my head. They were always adventurous, including jungle settings, the wild west, and, of course, Buck Rogers.

When my children were young, I wrote children’s stories for them. So, it was easy to gravitate to adult fiction.

Malcolm: Are the ambiance, descriptions and nurses’ training at the fictional institution in “Notes in a Mirror” fairly close to what you experienced in your training at the former Chicago State Mental Hospital?

Helen: Absolutely! The place was as I described it, bleak and frightening. The wards were cold and dreary, and the people were hopeless.

Malcolm: Your main character, Mary Lou, had an unpleasant upbringing with a mother who appears smothering and overly strict. If you were taking your best friend to meet Mary Lou, how would you describe her? What kind of person is she?

Helen: Mary Lou is a somewhat like myself as a young girl. Although I had a very loving family, my mother was over protective. I was afraid of everything, mostly of dying and going to hell. I was also born left handed and was forced to learn to write with mt right hand. I am able to write mirror-image with my left. That’s what gave me the idea.

Malcolm: Mary Lou’s friend Kate is an outgoing person who loves making fun of everything and generally taking a lighthearted approach to life. Mary Lou and Kate are such opposites; as you were writing “Notes in a Mirror,” did you have fun thinking of situations where they would interact?

Helen: Kate is very much like one of my classmates, named Katie. She was always in some sort of trouble, so it was easy to mimic her.

Malcolm: “Notes in a Mirror” contains frightening events. How does it differ in tone and plot from your two Emma Winberry mysteries “The Accidental Sleuth” (2007) and “The Stranger in the Opera House” (2009)

Helen: My cozy mystery series is not based on any of my experiences. It come directly from my mind. I love my characters, Emma Winberry, and her significant other, Nate Sandler. They have become part of my life. It’s fun dreaming of situations for Emma to get in trouble.

Malcolm: Did you find “Notes in a Mirror” difficult to write due to your own memories of the conditions and manner of patient care you saw at the hospital?

Helen: Actually I wrote the first draft twenty years ago and put it in a drawer. But it kept calling to me. It was not difficult to write but therapeutic to get those words on paper. I’ll never forget that experience.

Malcolm: In the early 1970s, I was a manager of one of the group homes at the Waukegan Developmental Center that was part of Illinois’ new wave of treatment for the developmentally disabled. Did your nursing career ever take you to any of the newer facilities?

Helen: I was there in 1950. The place closed in the mid-seventies. So I had no experience with any transfers. I never had an desire to work with the mentally ill.

Malcolm: I expect you saw a lot of changes in settings and treatments during your career. Did you write “Notes in a Mirror” because the setting was so perfect for a good mystery, or was it more to show how archaic the treatment of the mentally ill was in our recent history?

Helen: I wrote it because I experienced it and felt it should be told. It was very much like The Snake Pit, published in the 1940s and later made into a movie.

Malcolm: As I read your book, I couldn’t help but think of an expose reporter Nellie Bly wrote about Blackwell’s Island asylum in 1887 called “Ten Days in a Mad House.” She faked being mentally ill in order to get inside. After her experience, she, wrote: “It’s easy to get in, but once there it is impossible to get out.” While, the 1950s era Hillside State Mental Hospital in your novel isn’t as archaic as the institution Bly visited 63 years earlier, your protagonist Mary Lou could hardly force herself to stay for her training. Did your three month rotation seem like an eternity to you?

Helen: Yes it did. Someone was always threatening to go home. But we were senior students and it was out last rotation before graduation. The nice part about it was that we got to go home every weekend, if we lived in the area.

Malcolm: When Mary Lou begins dreaming about a former patient who claimed to have died at Hillside in 1911, she’s looking almost as far back in history as the “Mad House” Nellie Bly wrote about. These dreams—and the notes that show up in the mirror—lead your protagonist as well as the reader into a terrifying chain of events. How were you able to put yourself in the shoes of a character with paranormal sensitivities who was looking back to conditions worse than what she was seeing during her training?

Helen: Imagination can lead a person anywhere. I just followed the ideas that came to me.

Malcolm: Other than a great story, what else do you hope your readers discover while reading “Notes in a Mirror”?

Helen: I hope that anyone reading the book will appreciate how far the medical profession has come in treating the mentally ill. It is no longer a stigma. Mental illness is a disease like any other, and most of the patients, with the proper treatment, can lead normal lives. However, these state hospitals served a purpose. They house the people who are now living on the street because they fail to take their medications. Some are in jail when they should be hospitalized.

Malcolm: Thank you for your visit, Helen. Best of luck with “Notes in a Mirror.

For more information, visit Helen Osterman’s website or see the novel’s listing on Amazon.

In today’s Writer’s Notebook, First Look: ‘A View Inside Glacier National Park,’ the park’s new centennial book of stories.

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You’re not an author, you’re my mom

Today’s guest article is by Chelle Cordero, author of “Bartlett’s Rule,” “Forgotten,” “Within the Law,” “Courage of the Heart,” “Final Sin,” “Hostage Heart,” and “A Chaunce of Riches.” It’s a pleasure to welcome a prolific author from Vanilla Heart Publishing with a humorous take on the writing life.

You’re not an author, you’re my mom

by

Chelle Cordero

Working as a writer is a hectic and often surreal lifestyle. You live by the power of words, both real and fictional, and you accept the responsibility of those words, the emotions they evoke and the lessons they convey. Although I’ve never participated in NaNoWriMo (a challenge to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days) I can well understand the thrill of accomplishment. Every time I finish an article, a new novel, or edit a writing project, I am thrilled with the same sense of accomplishment.

It’s an amazing feeling to see your name on the cover of a book or see your byline in a national publication. As awesome as it feels to see your name, it is incredible to realize that people are actually reading your words. I’ve had an editor or two (for my non-fiction work) pass along letters they’ve received citing my articles and commenting that they found the information useful; that’s a wonderful feeling. Even more exciting is seeing a site like Amazon taking pre-orders of novels that haven’t yet been released (the ranking system shows that pre-orders have been placed) – people are actually buying books because I’ve written them and they are getting them as soon as they are available.

I’m still me. I am a wife, mother, community volunteer, housewife, sister, aunt, and friend as well as being a writer. I walk in the mall and I’m not hounded by fans because most people don’t recognize me as an author. Every so often I do get someone noticing my author pic on the back of a book and realizing it’s me or an email to me as a writer asking for advice on writing. My friends and acquaintances do call me if they see my name in the paper or the time I did a spot on a local news channel (as a participant in Operation E-Book Drop).

I often read and re-read my own articles and books and sit there thinking “I really wrote that?” Most times I like what I’ve read, perhaps that is just egotism? I guess I am in that in-between stage where I know that I am just an ordinary everyday person and yet craving the acknowledgment of what I’ve accomplished to date. I yearn for fan mail (please! chellecordero@gmail.com) and yet I felt embarrassed the first time someone brought a book up to me at a signing and asked me to autograph it – and I didn’t even know the person!

There is a feeling that is difficult to put into words, even for a writer, which overwhelms you in a crowd where everyone is speaking about their jobs. Then they turn to you…

I’ve often had a thoughtful acquaintance turn to me and ask “So how is your book doing?” and I respond “Which one?” and they’re shocked. Or it’s even funnier when someone I’ve known for years suddenly realizes that I’m a writer – “You wrote a book?” There is no way of comparing my “desk job” with that of my son-in-law’s title as “Infrastructure Analyst” or to my kids’ EMS careers (she’s a paramedic and he’s an EMT).

I try to surround myself with other writer and editorial friends – we understand each other. Whether I connect with these friends on Facebook or in-person at my local RWA chapter, I feel “normal” because of the association. Most of the authors signed with my publisher, Vanilla Heart Publishing, are supportive and friendly, we have a tight group. My writer friends know when to call me on it when I make excuses and also know how to bolster my fragile ego when I need plaudits.

Then while I am feeling particularly talented and good about myself I over hear my daughter chatting with a friend and listing some of her favorite authors. I attempt a “guilt trip” –“What? My name isn’t included?” The answer I get is “You’re not an author, you’re my mom.”

…I chuckle and still feel pretty good.

Chelle Cordero, Author

Chelle Cordero Website

Chelle at Vanilla Heart Publishing

Glacier Centennial Book Now Available

100 YEARS – 100 STORIES Celebrating the rich history of preservation and enjoyment through personal recollections or the land. Stories and experiences from 100 people whose lives have been enriched and who have been inspired by the grandeur and beauty of Glacier National Park. All proceeds from sales of this book support the Glacier Centennial Program. 371 pages. Black and white photography.

Available for $19.95 via the Glacier Association


Upcoming, December 3: Author Chelle Cordero puts a humorous spin on the writing life.

Malcolm

Sarah Palin Saves Local Bookstore Owner’s Butt

from Morning Satirical News:

Junction City, November 25, 2009–Brisk sales of Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue are saving the Main Street Book Emporium from the scrap heap of local businesses that go belly up after Walmart comes to town.

Jim Exlibrius, founder and owner of the 20-year-old bookstore conveniently located kitty corner across a busy intersection from the Krispy Kreme, told employees this morning that his butt and their jobs are safe through April Fool’s Day because Palin’s bestselling book is flying off the shelves “like bats in a tornado.”

“I almost lost my shirt after my window display for Audrey Niffenegger’s spooky “Her Fearful Symmetry” scared away all my customers,” said Exlibris. “Now, I’m making money like a blind water salesman in the Sahara Desert because every woman in this town has always wanted to ‘go rogue’ and ever man in this town has wanted to know a woman who ‘went rogue.'”

According to informed sources at publisher HarperCollins, the Main Street Book Emporium has sold up to 25% of the 2.5 million copies of Going Rogue now in print. Exlibris told reporters that he expects Junction City readers will force HarperCollins to make a tenth trip back to the printer to keep up with demand.

“I not only asked Sarah to come to my store for a book signing so huge that it will make J. K. Rowling look like a wannabee, I urged her (Sarah) to stay here as my wife,” said Exlibris. “How can a man not love a woman who writes, ‘With the gray Talkeetna Mountains in the distance and the first light covering of snow about to descend on Pioneer Peak, I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with splashes of the last frontier.'”

Police reports show that since Going Rogue was released earlier this month, more fights have broken out at the Main Street Book Emporium than Mona’s Biker Bar, Hot Balls Miniature Golf Magic Lane, and Ghost-of-a-Chance Cemetery combined.

“If we didn’t have a continuous presence at Krispy Kreme,” said Chief Kruller, “people would have been killed or worse at that bookstore. Jim just can’t keep enough Sarah on the shelf to satisfy everyone.”

Sources at city hall indicated that if Palin comes to town to do a reading and signing, Mayor Clark Trail is prepared to give her the key to the city as soon as he can find it (the key).

“He thinks it was in his gone-fishing trousers and must have ended up at the bottom of Miller’s Pond after last year’s incident with that school of rogue crappies,” councilman Calvin Knox said.

The Albino County Literary Club and Pecan Pie Society complains that its winter discussion schedule has been “more tangled than kite string in a Charlie Brown tree” because members sent to Exlibris’ store to buy one thing keep coming out with a sack full of Rogues.

“Just a couple of days ago, I sent them there to buy Jeff Shaara’s new new book No Less Than Victory, and they came out with Going Rogue, proving, I guess, that winning isn’t everything,” said society president Marianne Stemple.

Exlibris confessed to Star-Gazer editors that reporter Jock Stewart is the only man in town who refuses to buy Palin’s book, and “who the hell is more rogue than he is?”

Stewart reportedly maintains that when Palin buys his book, he’ll buy her book and even try out a halibut taco, a reindeer sausage and other delights from the land of the midnight sun Exlibris is giving away free with every copy of Going Rogue through the Black Friday weekend.

-30-

Copyright (c) Malcolm R. Campbell, author of Jock Stewart and the Missing sea of Fire where you’ll find Jim Exlibris, Chief Kruller, Councilman Knox, Mayor Clark Trail and–of course–Jock Stewart are all going rogue.

‘Notes in a Mirror’ author coming Dec 8

I’m looking forward to interviewing Helen Macie Osterman, author of the new thriller “Notes in a Mirror” on December 8.

This compelling book, released November 15th by Weaving Dreams Publishing, is set in a grim, 1950s mental institution where the treatments are as archaic as the dark. cold buildings.

The author worked as a nurse for 45 years. During her training, her rotation took her to such a hospital for three months where she witnessed hydrotherapy, Insulin coma therapy and electroshock. These were once accepted treatments for the mentally ill, and they are part of the world protagonist Mary Lou Hammond and Kate Stephens are plunged into at the fictional Hillside State Mental Hospital.

But there’s more. Somebody is trying to contact the sensitive Mary Lou. Is it her imagination, a former patient, or perhaps the mad house is driving her mad. This 213-page mystery will keep you guessing while making you thankful you were never committed to Hillside–or the real-life institutions on which it is based.

As the Osterman writes in her introduction, “The treatments provided were primitive and sometimes dangerous, but at the time, considered state of the art.” The author’s experience as a student nurse in such an institution gives her the knowledge to make this an accurate and chilling novel.

Malcolm, author of “Jock Stewart and the Missing Sea of Fire” and “The Sun Singer”

Book Review: ‘Her Fearful Symmetry’

Her Fearful Symmetry Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
–William Blake, “The Tyger”

When an acclaimed author (Audrey Niffenegger) takes a phrase from an inscrutable poem (“The Tyger”), readers (such as myself) are apt to expect a great story. Without a doubt Niffenegger’s prose is elegant, her place descriptions (London and Highgate Cemetery) are exceptional, and her intricate plot has great promise.

That promise is not fulfilled.

Niffenegger speaks of ghosts that dissipate in to the ether, so to speak, because they haven’t been dead long enough to figure out how to keep themselves together and harness their intent. I like this viewpoint within the story. Unfortunately, it also describes the story.

We are introduced to several sets of twins who, as it turns out, are so focused on being twins that they (in one case) do fearful and silly things and (in another case) are relatively boring. In each set, one twin wants freedom and the other wants the status quo. Interesting? Could have been, but it wasn’t.

At best, most of the characters were totally dysfunctional with the possible exception (oddly enough) of the man with OCD who lived in the flat upstairs, up above the American twins who come to London when their aunt (Espeth) dies and leaves them an apartment up above Robert who works as a volunteer at the adjoining Highgate Cemetery. He was Espeth’s lover both before and after she died.

Like ghosts without sufficient practice and power to organize themselves and enjoy the afterlife (with or without haunting the living), the plot becomes weaker and weaker as the novel goes on until on the final pages it evaporates altogether. Yes, there’s a grim resolution to it all, but it’s a weak one and we no longer care.

I suspect the author fell in love with the cemetery and wanted to write a story about it. Naturally, the dead came to mind. But they weren’t strong enough to frighten us or make us care about the symmetry.

View all my reviews >>

Other Blogs:

Morning Satirical News: Talking to a real reporter about Operation E-Book Drop

Mythrider: Natural, But Not Human (our poor perception of the natural world)

Sun Singer’s Travels: Writing one word at a time

Copyright (c) 2009 by Malcolm R. Campbell, author of the comedy/thriller “Jock Stewart and the Missing Sea of Fire”

Brief Review: ‘Place Names of Glacier National Park’

Place Names of Glacier National Park Place Names of Glacier National Park by Jack Holterman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This reference book, in dictionary form, presents an exhaustive list of Glacier National Park’s place names. Included in the commentary for each name are references to where the name came from, alternative (or older) names for lakes and mountains, the Indian names, details about the personages involved, and a lot of other forgotten lore you won’t find on topographical or hiking maps.

If you love the park, this book by the late Jack Holterman, a scholar of the Blackfeet Language and a long-time historian of the area, will take you deeper into the mysteries of the place. The names and commentary are, in many ways, a miniature history of the people who discovered and safe-guarded this popular, yet threatened national park.

I was honored to be one of the editors of the original version of this book published in 1985 by the Glacier Natural History Association (now called the Glacier Association). The book went out of print for a while, so it was especially nice to see it return several years ago. It’s an excellent resource and a very interesting look at the park.

View all my reviews >>

Malcolm

Your Library: Myth v. Fact

from geekthelibrary.org…

Myth: I’m already funding my library by paying my late fees and purchasing items at book sales.

Fact: Late fees and book sale dollars provide a very modest contribution to libraries and support replacement of materials lost and items not returned. Fees and fines are not sufficient to support operating or program activities.

I worked my way through school as a student and graduate assistant at the libraries of Florida State University and Syracuse University. While college library funding is different than your public library’s city budget allocations, I saw first hand how far the fines and fees we collected at the desk did NOT go.

Whatever you geek (love, like, adore), the library is there to support you. Today, I needed to find an old book about Glacier National Park. My local library didn’t have it, but they found it quickly within our regional library system.

geekbanner

Sometimes a discussion beats sales

I went up to the Maysville, Georgia, public library today for a Jackson County Authors Showcase. Along with me were authors Caine Campbell, Pamela Dodd, and Jackie White.

Including the assistant librarian who sat in on the whole event, there were four authors and four in the audience, two of whom had to leave before it was over. I sold one copy of “Jock Stewart and the Missing Sea of Fire.”

A waste of time? Not at all. The two people who came both had a lot of questions; one of them has a grand daughter interested in writing and wanted to know if we had any tips. Of course we talked about our books, how we got started, and how we try to market our work.

I had a good time. Plus, it was nice to get away from the house on a sunny Saturday and drive 30 minutes on a country road from my small town to the next small town north of here.

The discussion was worth a lot. Oh, and the library gave each of us a fancy jar of pears, something a starving writer doesn’t buy for himself!

Malcolm

P.S. Don’t forget this is National Book Store Day, the day in which each of us is expected to go out any buy a pickup truck full of literature from (hopefully) a locally owned store.

New Jock Stewart satire posted at the Morning Satirical News: “Love is the Morning and the Evening Star”