Good afternoon, riding mower fans

Today’s special event (let’s help Malcolm mow his yard) has been canceled due to hot weather. Even CNN, which normally stays quiet about news it doesn’t like, posted numerous stories about the heat, noting among other things that heat will be bad in the South. Duh. Apparently, the weather system is centered around Mempis. Those of us who live in Georgia think all bad weather begins in Memphis.

I didn’t see much hope for tomorrow or the day after in this news story: The worst of the latest heat wave is expected to be in the South, with triple-digit temperatures possible in Dallas, Houston, Austin and San Antonio in Texas, and New Orleans and Atlanta. And there’s no relief in sight. About 65% of the entire US population will see temperatures above 90 degrees over the next week, and almost 60 million will be sweltering in temperatures at or above 100. – CNN

CNN Map as of two days ago

(For those of you who are unsure just where North Georgia is, we’re 56 miles northwest of Atlanta as the crow flies.)

{Looking at the lame jokes page, I see: “The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt, and pepper.” It’s probably true along with farmers feeding chickens crushed ice so they won’t lay hardboiled eggs.}

Here in Rome, GA, we no longer laugh at those jokes. However, if EMTs respond to your house because you’re a victim of heat stroke, they’ll take you straight to the morgue where the cool air might revive you. If not, you’re where you’ll end up anyway.

Btw, my apologies to hard-core lawn-mowing aficionados who believe a standard riding mower should be called a “lawn tractor.”

Those of you wondering when the next scheduled let’s help Malcolm mow his yard is scheduled, stop by as soon as it (the sky) starts raining. As always, there will be sweet tea for those doing the mowing and beer for the kids.

Malcolm

P.S. If you look online and see that you can tell Facebook your problems by sending them (the problems) to support@fb.com, don’t bother. Anything sent to that e-mail address bounces back. 

Our calico cat hates storms

Thunder, driving rain on the roof, power outages, and anything else having to do with severe weather, Katy isn’t going to like it. At 3 p.m. today, the heavy rain made it so dark inside the house, I finally turned on a light in the kitchen. Meanwhile, there’s been a tornado watch in place most of the day here in northwest Georgia. This Weather.com graphic is a tip-off that we’ll have more rain tomorrow and for the rest of the year maybe:

I’m glad we got our yard mowing caught up yesterday. I wish I hadn’t gotten drenched while grocery shopping this morning. The rain was light until I walked out of the store with a cartload of food and, as they say, the bottom fell out. I would have been drier in a swimming pool.

The people on Facebook tell me I have rain for Monday’s errands because I’m not showing Mother Nature enough respect. Yes, I call her Baby Cakes. I saw that as a term of endearment. 99 and 44/100 percent of my friends don’t see it that way. Who knew?

Well, now the sun came out and the rain has stopped. The baby goats in the pasture across the road are enjoying their late afternoon. Katy’s stopped acting like a fraidy cat. But it’s all a trick. As soon as it gets dark we’ll have a rainy night in Georgia as Tony Joe White wrote in his 1967 song popularized by Brook Benton.

When that happens, I think I’ll go take a nap while Katy hides under the bed.

–Malcolm 

Malcolm R. Campbell

Publisher: Thomas-Jacob Publishing

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We don’t need no more tornados

“Parts of the South that endured severe weather outbreaks in consecutive weeks won’t be able to catch a break in the near future. AccuWeather forecasters say more volatile weather will arrive as soon as this weekend, and stormy weather could be unrelenting even into next week.” – Yahoo  

Look, if we wanted to play tag with dozens of nasty tornados, we’d move to Tornado Alley.

Thursday was a noisy weather day here in north Georgia: continuous rain, severe thunderstorms. The tornados occurred primarily in Alabama except for the one that devastated the Atlanta suburb of Newnan. We were on the edge of the tornado watch and will be again before the weekend is over.

We’re still under a flood warning from the last batch of rain. Now this, according to weather.com:

So, if you know Mother Nature, please let her know we don’t need no more tornados.

Malcolm