Category: Pandemic

SPAM remains alive and intrusive during Pandemic

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn Pandemic2 Comments

Bloggers love visits and comments but are often discouraged when they see that some of those come from spammers.

At least the spammers aren’t here in my den and, insofar as I know, their messages don’t transmit COVID-19 even though some of them promise that they can provide the most accurate information on the planet about the pandemic. I see those people as just another example of folks with no qualifications who are disputing the statements being made by people with medical/research qualifications. Plus, they want me to pay for their opinions. I think not.

Fortunately, WordPress screens all that out and puts it in a special trash bin where I can glance at it to make sure it’s SPAM. 99.99% of the time, it has no value. So, gentle reader–as Dorothy Parker used to say in her columns–I screen all the schlock to you don’t have to see it and then figure out how to un-see it.

Basically, I think the Feds should round up all the spammers and put them in asylums where they will learn the errors of their ways or, if they can’t/won’t, are kept confined to they don’t harm innocent people.

Every once in awhile their comments are funny (or at least slightly creative):

  • Receive one hundred rolls of high-quality, gently used toilet paper per month in unmarked packages for less than the cost of a dinner for five at Antoine’s in New Orleans or a new Maserati (Levante). Not responsible for shipping delays.
  • Stay ahead of the Pandemic info by subscribing to our COVID newsletter which collects all the half-truths and spurious ideas together in one place, making it easy for you to compare right and wrong in the daily news.
  • Our six-foot poles made from oak will make it easy for you to maintain proper social distancing at grocery stores, pharmacies, and take-out lines at restaurants. No longer will you have to believe the drunk standing next to you who thinks four feet is okay. Our poles can be used as lances should the need arise. 

This is only the tip of the iceberg. I’ve spared you from everything beneath the surface. I’m sure you’re all grateful.

–Malcolm

“Widely Scattered Ghosts” is currently free on Smashwords.

 

Pandemic: Writers’ Resources

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn Pandemic, writers

“This pandemic—from the Greek pandemos: pan (all) and demos (people)—is changing us, at every level: our antibodies, our economy, even the words that flit or stumble off our tongues.” – Anndee Hochman in Postcard From the Pandemic: The Language of the Virus

Here’s a link to recent writers’ resources from the website of Poets & Writers Magazine:

Hope you find a few that help you.

–Malcolm

Free e-book in epub and mobi formats.

 

 

 

What’s the street value of a roll of toilet paper?

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn Pandemic2 Comments

Once when I was picking up a prescription at my pharmacy, I said I was ready to make a profit by selling the pills on the street at a dollar each.

The pharmacist said that I’d be losing a lot of money pricing them that cheap. Shows what I know about the DIY drug biz.

This morning, I found a couple of store brand packages of toilet paper at the Food Lion. First time I’ve seen any there in almost a month. They also had paper towels and Kleenex. My lucky day.

People in the parking lot saw the toilet paper and looked envious. Since I hadn’t bought any fresh ammo, I hoped they weren’t armed. I knew one thing they didn’t know. There wasn’t enough toilet paper left inside the store for all of them.

Hmm, how much would they be willing to pay for one roll? $10, perhaps? That seemed fair since I have expenses, insurance, transportation costs, etc. But no one came over to threaten me or propose a deal. So now we’re stocked up to a little while.

Whew.

That’s a relief. Like everyone else, we were running low on a product that several months ago we took for granted.

In the 1970s, I never expected (and didn’t like) the gasoline shortages. As I drove around looking for a service station that had something to sell, I never thought the next shortage would be toilet paper.

Maybe we should all use the grocery store restrooms every time we go shopping. Naah, with a virus around, I don’t think so.

If you want a roll, send me $10 plus shipping and maybe I’ll ship one back to your house and you’ll feel inspired or relieved.

–Malcolm

A mix of stuff, i.e. a potpourri (without herbs)

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn Pandemic2 Comments
  • My latest post “How are You Feeling?” was written in hopes followers of this blog would respond with their own comments and stories about coping with the pandemic. I was disappointed in the lack of response.
  • I’m coping by working on my next novel. It seems to be about halfway done, though I’m usually the last to know. It continues where my Florida Folk Magic Trilogy ends, though it’s by no means a sequel (unless my publisher tells me it’s a sequel).
  • I’m also coping by re-reading old books, currently James Patterson’s Instinct about a serial killer who leaves cryptic clues to his next victim by placing a playing card next to each person he murders. The novel came out in 2017 and was co-written by Howard Roughan. It demonstrates the problem with the police using the services of an expert. If the murders keep going on and on an on, the expert really isn’t solving anything. If the murders stop right after the expert solves the whole case on page 20, you don’t have much of a novel.
  • My wife and I see to be trading the low-grade flu back and forth. Not sure how to fix that except for both of us to take it easy and get extra sleep.
  • I listened to Queen Elizabeth II’s brief pandemic speech on TV last night and though it was a reasonable appeal for working together to solve this crisis as Brits have done before. She’s old enough to remember the Blitz, the country’s attempts to find safe places for the children, and the resolve with which everyone mobilized for efforts in battlezones and on the homefront.
  • Comfort food is a high priority with us right now. I just took a squash casserole out of the oven to be warmed up for several meals. My wife’s been making pies and rice casseroles. We usually pair these with whatever we can find on TV, including “How to Get Away With Murder.” Our joke with that series is that (like “Lost”) we seem to know less and less about what’s going on after watching each episode.
  • Stay well.

Malcolm

How are you feeling?

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn Life, Pandemic2 Comments

 

 

 

 

Those of us who aren’t old enough to remember the fear and uncertainty, the rationing, and all the shortages and economic changes during World War II, will probably see the COVID-19 pandemic as the nation’s greatest crisis. The last U. S. figures I saw showed 277,205 cases and 6,593 deaths. We are told that these numbers don’t include cases and deaths we don’t know about and that they’ll go higher. We’re also told that a vaccine is probably at least a year away.

Historians are comparing this pandemic with the 1918 influenza pandemic that impacted 500 million people throughout the world, 50 million deaths worldwide, including 675,000 deaths in the U.S. That’s not reassuring even though it sounds long ago and far away with no one alive with personal memories of it.

I’m reminded of the polio scare in the 1950s, with 57,628 cases in 1952. The Salk and Sabin vaccines generally put an end to the outbreaks, but prior to that, there was a fair amount of fear and unease about the safety of one’s children. (My younger brother had a mild case.)

Whether they’re joking about it or trying to deny the real danger to themselves, my sense from news reports and social media is we’re seeing off-the-scale unease, uncertainly, and frustration that exceeds the 1950s polio scare, one that has captured the country’s consciousness like the national efforts to mobilize on the homefront for World War.

Cases and deaths are spreading across the country for a disease with no cure but to try to simply lessen one’s chances of getting it and to endure it if one does get it. The economy is, of course, a resulting tragedy as stores and other venues close, travel is restricted, and employees are furloughed, and businesses facing bankruptcy. The pandemic seems like a sword with multiple sharp edges.

The Internet is filled with ideas for things to do while quarantined. These ideas probably help, but I doubt they’re a real substitute for unemployment, disruptions in products and services, and concerns about any flu-like symptoms one has had. It’s nice to see news stories about people pulling together: they offset some of the stories about the political squabbling as well as the crazy people who ignore guidelines and/or purposefully try to infect others.

My younger brother and his wife were planning a European trip. My wife and I were planning a trip to Maryland to see my daughter, her husband, and my two granddaughters. These trips have been cancelled. Thousands of people are probably having similar experiences.

Day to day, I’m impacted by news stories and the latest lockdown style regulations and lack of many grocery items in the stores. I try, though, to focus more on the book I’m writing, the TV shows we watch, our two cats, and life around the house rather than becoming obsessed with the pandemic.

How about you? How are you feeling and how are you coping?

—Malcolm