What’s the street value of a roll of toilet paper?

Once when I was picking up a prescription at my pharmacy, I said I was ready to make a profit by selling the pills on the street at a dollar each.

The pharmacist said that I’d be losing a lot of money pricing them that cheap. Shows what I know about the DIY drug biz.

This morning, I found a couple of store brand packages of toilet paper at the Food Lion. First time I’ve seen any there in almost a month. They also had paper towels and Kleenex. My lucky day.

People in the parking lot saw the toilet paper and looked envious. Since I hadn’t bought any fresh ammo, I hoped they weren’t armed. I knew one thing they didn’t know. There wasn’t enough toilet paper left inside the store for all of them.

Hmm, how much would they be willing to pay for one roll? $10, perhaps? That seemed fair since I have expenses, insurance, transportation costs, etc. But no one came over to threaten me or propose a deal. So now we’re stocked up to a little while.

Whew.

That’s a relief. Like everyone else, we were running low on a product that several months ago we took for granted.

In the 1970s, I never expected (and didn’t like) the gasoline shortages. As I drove around looking for a service station that had something to sell, I never thought the next shortage would be toilet paper.

Maybe we should all use the grocery store restrooms every time we go shopping. Naah, with a virus around, I don’t think so.

If you want a roll, send me $10 plus shipping and maybe I’ll ship one back to your house and you’ll feel inspired or relieved.

–Malcolm

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