Yes, I deleted yesterday’s post


An overabundance of caution.

The post mentioned my 35th wedding anniversary and talked about where my wife (called Lady X) and I met. Many of the details were previously published in a now-out-of-print novel where the location and people involved were disguised–and, I wasn’t one of the characters.

Lady X and me.

After the post was up for maybe ten hours, I started worrying about it since the organization where we met still exists and might somehow connect today’s high-quality operation with the old place that was filled with internal politics. Uh oh, could they sue me for a veiled description of things that happened 40 years ago?

The moment from the past that still delights my wife and me is the fact that when I was interviewed for the position, I was told to stay away from Lady X, an individual whom the top brass thought was on the “wrong side” of the political controversy. Ultimately, Lady X and I became “an item” and that shocked those on the top brass’ side of the war.

“What the hell’s happened to Malcolm,” they must have been saying. They had already figured out that I thought the “wrong side” was the “right side.” After they fired me for thinking such things, they must have taken to drink when they found out Lady X and I got married.

So there it is, missing all the unbelievable stuff the stop brass was doing. I’d mention a few examples, such as they tapped my phone, but if I say too much I’ll have to delete this post for the same reason I deleted the first version.

Life is like that. Many of our best secrets have to be classified and not open to the public of, say, a hundred years or so.


Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of “Special Investigative Reporter,” a satire with true stuff in it that hasn’t gotten me sued yet.

Feds outlaw smart people

Washington, D. C., January 18, 2022, Star-Gazer News Service: In an attempt to keep everyday citizens from knowing more than U.S. Senators and Representatives, the government announced here today that the country will no longer tolerate smart people.

No Longer Needed

Informed sources told reporters that the metrics are yet to be finalized, but the thinking–such as it is–will be that an average IQ is good enough, especially for government work. The White House has defined that average as a score between 85 and 115.

“We think that’s good enough,” said Jimmy Crack Corn, the newly appointed Boss Man of the newly created IQ Monitoring Service.

According to Crack Corn, the government spent the last 20 years analyzing the optimum IQ levels for government service and concluded that anything higher than 115 creates “the kind of mess we’re facing now.”

“Being too smart creates a clusterf_ck in the halls of Congress as well as the executive branch,” Crack Corn said.

According to the government study, smart people are too smart for their own good, much less the good of the country because they see at least fifty shades of grey in every question or idea and, therefore, are unable to create meaningful laws and policies.

The White House said that the government didn’t anticipate, at least not yet, actually killing smart people or placing them in prisons or asylums, but preferred to keep destroying the educational system and watering down the Bill of Rights so that a new “optimum IQ” evolves naturally.

Dr. Gerald Simpson, CEO of the America First Think Tank said, “Twenty years from now, most of us won’t even know what we’re talking about.”

The President signed the legislation creating the new “dumb down America rules” even though he didn’t understand it, the White House said.


Story by Jock Stewart, Special Investigative Reporter

Writers: Hell’s Angel in a China Shop

In the novel I’m reading, somebody notes that those in a college English department who write about writing are well paid and respected within the academic world while anyone in the department who actually writes is branded as dangerous and is considered definitely outside the safe and stifling confines of the brick walls that house literature. Since I’ve been there and done that, I’ll say we are viewed with the same horror as Hell’s angels in a China shop.

My favorite college writing instructor was in a similar position. When we (students of his) got together with him outside of class at a campus watering hole, we talked about this. Some people saw the English department paradox as similar to having a battle-scarred general on the staff of a military school who is treated with less respect than those who learned battlefield tactics by reading books.

The best we could determine is that wiring requires heavy use of the imagination and that teaching literature (pronounced li-tri-chure by the snobs) requires logic. And never the twain shall meet. Those who pride themselves on logic don’t like those who rely on spontaneity and imagination. Logic is favored in our science and technology world over intuition and magic, so naturally, writers don’t fit into the consensus reality of the university, much less the English department.

So, as I read this novel, I recognize a lot of things from my life as a student en route to becoming a writer and suffice it to say I’m getting angry again about the way prospective writers were/are treated by their English departments. And yet, all these years later, I wonder what the logic-focussed non-writers in the department thought we were going to do after college. Write or teach, I guess–and teaching was more stable, salary-wise, and respect-wise.

I hope there will come a day when magic and imagination and intuition are respected in writers and others who can sense how the world works without a calculator.


Malcolm R. Campbell

Publisher: Thomas-Jacob Publishing


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