When Bond, James Bond, Reaches the Pearly Gates

He will throw his hat on the right-hand gate post, engage in light-hearted banter with Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell), tell M (Barnard Lee) that everything he did in this life was for Queen and country, and then slip downstairs to tell Q (Desmond Llewelyn) that all the equipment he destroyed was the price the U.K. had to pay to get the bad guys.

James Bond (Sean Connery) is gone now, but he’s about to learn he’s being sent back because there’s more work to be done. The Queen demands it and Miss Moneypenny admits she wants to be shaken and not stirred. M has the paperwork ready to go and Q has something called a Delorean with a special flux capacitor.

“Do be careful with the motor car or you’ll end up in the year you just left,” Q will caution him.

“The powers that be would have me bang to rights then,” Bond will say.

“Only a gobshite would do that,” Q will say, “so since that means you’ll do it, I’ve added a few special features.”

“I read the owner’s manual later,” Bond will inform him.

Q will shrug because the world always spins in the wrong direction when Bond gets a new toy.

Both Q and M know that the Queen loves James and would have married him if he’d come from a proper family. Hence, he can do what he wants even if it’s a bit messy.

The bad guys don’t have a chance.

Malcolm

Author: Malcolm R. Campbell

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of "Sarabande," "The Sun Singer," "At Sea," "Conjure Woman's Cat," "Eulalie and Washerwoman," and "Lena."