Tag: taxes

Potpourri for April 14, 2024

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn Potpourri
  • Our tax app filed our income taxes with the imperial federal government and the state so that chore is off the plate for another year. I sure don’t miss the days when we had a small business and had to account for sales taxes collected, equipment depreciation, payments to temporary employees, and enough forms to choke a goat. Things are much easier now.
  • Iranian missiles near al-Aqsa

    Last night as my wife and I watched the news coverage of Iran’s missile and drone attack against Israel, my first thought was what’s the point. The attack was so dangerous because it could have (and still might) morph into a larger confrontation. I was happy to hear that 99% of the incoming drones and missiles were destroyed and that one of those that was intercepted through the U.S. Navy’s use of a relatively new Layered Laser Defense (LLD) system which ought to be much safer aboard ships than explosives-based weapons.

  • I’m enjoying re-reading Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library in which a person can choose one probable version of his/her life or another, see what it’s like, and then if s/he doesn’t, try another version.  I like the associations of the plot with the many worlds’ interpretation of quantum physics. My only quibble with the storyline is that when people drop into the middle of one of their probable selves’ lives, they don’t know what that self would know at that moment. So. they’re flying blind and that means a lot of time is lost figuring out what’s going on.
  • In my novel in progress, my characters are discussing the devil’s outhouse. Since I’m writing magical realism, I don’t have to worry about how they’d know anything about that outhouse.
  • I still have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). Since this is a family values-oriented blog (hahaha), I’ll spare you the details of how that works. My long list of things I can no longer eat or drink isn’t too terrible. For example, I’ve switched from milk to Lactaid; that’s worked out fine.  I’m not supposed to have booze, including wine or moonshine. But sometimes I can’t resist even though I’ll pay for that indiscretion later in pretty much the same way I pay for putting too much Tabasco sauce in my chili or buying lunch from Popeyes Chicken (my favorite).
  • I hope the lawn mower still works. It’s past time to find out.

–Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of the Florida Folk Magic series about a conjure woman fighting the KKK in the 1950s Florida Panhandle

Mexico empty as entire population moves to SoCal

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn satire4 Comments

Sacramento, November 21, 2017, Star-Gazer News Service–California officials confessed early today that they were “thoroughly gobsmacked” (completamente sorprendido) when the entire population of Mexico moved into the state’s sanctuary cities for “a brand new life” (vida maravillosa).

Wikipedia graphic (Most people don’t realize California is a red state.)

“This is a form of CalExit that, frankly, wasn’t on our drawing boards,” said state planning director Frank Smith. “All we tried to do with our sanctuary cities initiatives was provide neighborhoods for the cheap labor our agribusiness companies need in order to survive.”

Mexican officials, who say they are no longer Mexican officials, said that the country chose a “free and reasonably lavish” California lifestyle over the stress of fighting poverty and drug lords south of the border.

“Some will criticize us for leaving our culture behind,” said a man who identified himself as Mr. Fox. “But that’s not true. We brought it with us, and that it includes real Mexican food (verdadera comida Mexicana) rather than the Taco Bell faux variety.”

While lettuce growers are applauding the fact that their workers will no longer have to fight border guards–and the proposed wall–on their morning commute, they admitted that most companies will shift their corporate headquarters to New Jersey to escape probable tax increases.

“Just think, we used to laugh about the once-famous government money grabs in Tax-a-chusetts,” said iceberg lettuce manager Jonas Wilkerson. “Now, the tax-and-spend experts have moved out here.”

Informed sources (personas informadas) believe many native Californians, who have been staying solvent by taking frequent trips to Las Vegas, will simply move to Nevada so reduce household expenses and state taxes.

“Hell (infierno),” one of the sources said, “just look at the state’s proposed pot taxes. They’re going to be so high that buying weed off the street will be cheaper than buying legal weed–and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

Wilkerson agrees. “I read in the newspaper several days ago that the legislature passed a law that allows the unemployed to form a union that gives members the right to not work along with the right to put up homes in other people’s yards without being arrested for trespassing.”

Smith said that he thought the Mexican population’s move occurred as soon as a district judge blocked the administration’s plan to cut off federal funds to sanctuary cities.

“I’m somewhat amused at the historic karma operating here as California returns to the days when Spanish was its official language,” Smith told reporters at an emergency press conference on the governor’s lawn, adding, “Este es un gran día para California.”

–Story by Jock Stewart, special investigative reporter