Tag: President Biden

WH discloses Biden has watched ‘Barbie’ thirteen times

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn satire

Washington, D.C., July 26/2023, Star-Gazer News Service–President Biden, who admits he bought the first Barbie doll when it came out in 1959, told reporters that people “who suspect they’re losing their marbles will be returned to sanity to the greatest extent possible by interacting with a Barbie doll collection,” has viewed the new “Barbie” fantasy/comedy film thirteen times.

In spite of stories on Fox News, Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said that charges that Biden stole Vice President Kamala D. Harris’ Barbie doll collection and hid it in the White House China (Dish) Room are “bloody false.”

According to Jean-Pierre, “The  President’s doll collection is large enough to withstand acts of God, so he has no need of filching Kamala’s dolls.”

Informed sources say that Biden’s doll collection has been common knowledge amongst reporters who, generally speaking, never mentioned it in print since it would sound like fake news.

Biden, who shared his collection with the 44th U.S. President, Barack Obama for security reasons, said that “while “Barbie” is the epitome of a joyous, transforming movie, “Oppenheimer focuses on the negative, Republican-style view of the cosmos. What sane person goes around saying, ‘Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.’?”

White House insiders have sworn on a stack of Bibles that the President requires the First Lady, Jill Biden, to wear costumes made popular by the Barbie dolls while the often sits at his Oval Office desk dressed as Ken.

“It’s so sweet,” a White House clerk said, “because it’s human and defines the administration’s approach to political issues.”

Story by Jock Stewart, Special Investigative Reporter

Potpourri (unscented)

On By Malcolm R. CampbellIn Life in general
  • The weather forecaster(s) who predicted a lot of north Georgia snow yesterday were wrong–not that I’m complaining. There were a few flakes around, mostly two-legged.
  • Those who know a cat has adopted us want us to name it. Look, we’re already feeding him and trying to keep him warm. We’ve referring to him as OC (outside kitty) but people want something better.
  • My former publisher Vanilla Heart Publishing has closed due to health problems of the owner. 
  • I was happy to see that one of the first things President Biden said he wanted to achieve was unity. I hope he can do this and that the unity includes voters from all parts of the political spectrum–because if it doesn’t, we won’t really have unity will we?
  • This is not a good time to live in Texas or have anything to do with managing the state’s power grid.
  • Gosh, all the old “What’s My Line” shows are available to YouTube. Fun to see a few of them again after all these years.
  • As I discovered with “tennis shoes” some years ago, expensive hearing aids don’t last any longer than cheap hearing aids. So, I ordered another pair of the cheap ones and am happy to say I can hear what my wife’s talking about.
  • Rush Limbaugh has died. I never listened to his radio program because I didn’t agree with him. Yet, I wouldn’t wish cancer on anyone.
  • I keep wondering why my top post is an old one about graveyard dirt.  If you need to ask me about it, you’re probably going to get hurt. Just saying.
  • Serena Williams’ last tennis match aired at 3:00 a.m. No, I didn’t stay up to watch it. I do intend to watch her Australian Open match tonight against Osaka at 10:00 p.m.

  • I continue to work on my next novel, Weeping Wall, set in Glacier National Park. I seem to be writing slower than ever. Most be getting old.
  • Next week, I’ll be getting my semiannual anti-cancer shot. I don’t like the fact that it causes random hot flashes. Oh boy, I can hardly wait.
  • I’m currently reading a David Baldacci novel to take a break from Shuggie Bain which, though it’s well written, is filled with people who are messed up.

—Malcolm