Apparently, 85 is the new 25. That being the case, AARP readers love seeing a pretty face on the cover, Halle Berry appears in the current issue. If you’re star struck, you’re going to turn to the last page of the magazine which shows stars who have suddenly gotten old–but don’t look old. And usually, there’s a story about somebody older than I am who’s climbing Mt. Everest or ziplining across the Grand Canyon.

I turn to the last page after finding out where Berry found her groove and learn that Carole King is 80 and that at 90, composer John Williams will be scoring “Indiana Jones 5” set for release in 2023. Meanwhile, Garth Brooks is 60. How the hell did that happen?

The magazine is excited about Dolly Parton and her novel, the cover headline being “Dolly Parton Novelist? We love it.” And there on page 13 is a gushing interview (with photo) about how Dolly (76) and James Patterson (74) ended up collaborating on a novel.

Patterson is quoted as saying, “I’ve always admired Dolly, and I had this germ of an idea for a novel. I contacted her and she said, ‘Well, come on down and let’s talk.'”

I had to kick myself (figuratively speaking) that I didn’t call her first. We probably wouldn’t have called our book Run, Rose, Run. Maybe something like, Rose, My Pickup Done Left Me. So far, I’ve seen one blogger/reviewer who hated it.  But I’ll probably read it anyway when the price comes down a bit.

AARP’s “pitch” in general seems to be, “you might be old and sick, but you’re not washed up yet.” I don’t know whether that’s fake news or wishful thinking.

Either way, it’s good to know.

—Malcolm