Nope, I’m not talking about White Anglo Saxon Protestants, but the so-called Social Wasps that build paper nests on your front porch and then sting the hell out of you when you come home from a long day at the office and want to kick back with a TV dinner and watch “Jeopardy.”
In my case, I was opening the storm door to the older house on the property when these buggers took offense and stung the hell out of my left arm making it swell up to twice its normal size while itching like the three-day measles. My first line of defense was a string of profanity, followed up by a couple of megatons of HOT SHOT on their hidden nest.
Their nest is now history.
That approach didn’t help my arm. When I mentioned this on Facebook, some people said, “Gosh, Malcolm, if that had happened to me, I’d be dead by now.” What happened to just saying “there there” rather than trying to comfort me with a Nurse Ratched pronouncement?
Okay, as far as I know, I’m not dead. My arm still itches today, but after Caladryl, a baking soda poultice, ice, and a few glasses of wine, my warm is returning to its normal size and color. I still can’t put my wedding ring back on my swollen left hand, but soon, hopefully.
The best piece of news, while I was fuming about the wasp incident, was that AudioFile Magazine had posted a nice review of Holly Palance’s narration of the audio edition of Lena. (Yes, she’s Jack Palance’s daughter.) I’ve been lucky in that the magazine has liked all three audiobooks in the Florida Folk Magic Series. You can see the review here.
Meanwhile, I’m getting an out-of-print book ready for publication with a brand new title and a brand new cover. I think I’ll dedicate it to “the wasps on the front porch.”