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There ought to be a law against slide show “news”

If you get most of your “news” from Yahoo and Facebook, you’re a slide show victim waiting to happen. They usually begin with a headline like this:

  • Here’s the scene that got “I Dream of Jeannie” cancelled.
  • So an so was famous and had billions. See how they’re living now.
  • What’s her face was really hot 25 years ago. See what she looks like today.

The answer to any of those questions might not fit on a postage stamp, but it will fit on a 3X5 card.

Instead, you’re “treated to a slide show,” the first page of which has nothing to do with the headline you clicked on. Let’s say you clicked on So an so was famous and had billions. See how they’re living now. Lately, Yahoo has been using Sean Connery as click bait. Instead of seeing Sean Connery, you see some other actor on a page filled with pop-up ads and a graphic called “Next slide.”

As you click “Next slide,” you realize that you’re going to have to wade through 49 other slides before you come to Sean Connery, “I Dream of Jeannie,” or the hot actress from 1994.

Click on this graphic if you have had the joy of the slide show experience:

OR:

The bad news is, these slides load at a snail’s pace unless you bought the latest hot computer 25 minutes ago.

The worst news is, the slide shows paint in on the screen in such a jerky fashion, it’s easy to click on an advertisement by mistake and get shunted off onto a site telling you how to get hot Russian wives.

Seems like we ought to be able to sue, or even kill, somebody for this bait-and-switch game because these slide shows are almost as annoying as the real slide shows years ago when we went over to friends’ houses for dinner and they hauled out a Carousel projector with 100000000 vacation slides.

Or, maybe if we can’t beat them, we should join them. I’ve got a lot of boxes of vacation slides in the closet that will give me a head start in something like:

Malcolm Shows You Where to Find the Best Hookers.

or

How To Find Hit Men Who Don’t Like Slide Show Creators.

 

I suggest that you don’t run both of these at the same time.

Malcolm

 

 

 

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