Searching for fresh new clichés

Searching for fresh clichés to use in political commentary and social media is a full time job. Here are a few that might wet your whistle or knock the balls off a brass monkey:

• Going with your gut is evidence of diarrhea.
• What doesn’t kill you probably is covered by the new health insurance bill.
• A rose by any other name may not be a red.
• Democrats are looking for a witch behind every Russian.
• Good crack is always illegal while a good crack often goes viral.
• Skydiving is good to the last drop.
• Absence makes the heart look yonder.
• All’s well when the last lawyer is finally paid.
• An idle mind is a Congressman’s playground.
• An ounce of prevention is worth a thousand bucks on the street.
• A bad seed probably comes from a GMO lab.
• CNN beats facts into ashes if not asses.
• Too many reporters are calling a spade a shovel.
• You can’t judge a crook by his cover story.
• Today’s political commentary is usually crock and bullshit story.
• Obstructionists are a few bricks shy of a stone wall.
• A sleeping Senator beats a Kangaroo loose in the paddock.
• Today’s Kodak moments have probably been PhotoShopped.
• We’re waiting for freshman Congressmen to wake up and smell the bait.
• Caught like a dear who woke up on the wrong side of somebody else’s bed.

You probably didn’t hear it here first.

–Malcolm