Scattered Wednesday Nonsense

  • Cassidy in 1988If my hearing weren’t shot, I’d be listening to Eva Cassidy’s music today. It’s been a week where jazz and blues from the best singer the world didn’t know about would have helped ease one’s cares away.
  • Our ancient Buick has been acting more and more like an ancient Buick. This time is was a glove box latch that suddenly broke. That tiny light inside is impossible to get out but powerful enough to drain the battery. My wife finally found some tough-enough wire to hold to the door shut.
  • We think of getting a new car, but are rather perplexed by the fact nobody’s making sedans any more. We were under the impresssion several years ago that people who don’t really need SUVs were going to stop buying them and change over to gas-efficient cars. Now America is SUV crazy. What the hell?
  • I think I got tangled up in some bad karma last week when somebody stole my wallet. I left it on the store’s counter as juggling packages distracted me; a few minutes later, I want back for it and it was gone and nobody knew nothin’ about nothin’. Got all the credit cards stopped before anyone tried to charge an SUV. Got a new drivers license already. The photo is just as bad as the photo on the old license. I’m rather embarrassed to mention that my old wallet was stolen in a liquor store.
  • Finished wrapping my wife’s Christmas presents today. Wow, that was close: almost didn’t get it done. They look like they were wrapped by somebody in an asylum during a session where folks work on fine motor skills.
  • The poster features Woody anxiously holding onto Buzz Lightyear as he flies into Andy's room. Below them sitting on the bed are Bo Peep, Mr. Potato Head, Troll, Hamm, Slinky, Sergeant, and Rex. In the lower right center of the image is the film's title. The background shows the cloud wallpaper featured in the bedroom.We’ve been watching a History Channel series called “The Toys that Built America.” I keep taking that literally and when I do, I can find parts of America that probably were actually built by toys. We follow that up by watching one of several engineering catastrophes series. The fact that so many things have fallen down can be accounted for by the fact Woody, Buzz Lightyear, and Mr. Potato Head did all the design work. So far, the producers of these shows haven’t noticed the connection.
  • This year’s solstice was such a short day, I missed the whole thing. But that’s okay: Winter is my favorite season.
  • I hope your cars are starting, your wallets are safe, your outgoing gifts are perfectly wrapped, and that you have a wonderful holiday season.


Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of a bunch of novels which you can find by clicking on the name “Malcolm.”

Stopped by the seed and feed today. . .

To pick up gift wrapping materials in hopes I can wrap my wife’s presents before December 25th.  The hard-to-wraps gifts–like beef jerky and live bait—become stocking stuffers. Let me know if I missed any necessary gift-wrapping supplies:

  1. Burlap
  2. Duct Tape
  3. Bailing Wire
  4. Gorilla Glue
  5. Vice Grips
  6. Unbleached Muslin
  7. Box with holes in it for surprise hamster gift (This year’s “big” present).
  8. Seed and Feed promo sweatshirt for Race Ready horse feed. I might wrap the hamster in it.
  9. A box of Mason jars. (They camouflage the diamonds, rubies, and gold jewelry.)
  10. Fire ants (for the gag gift).
  11. Palmetto bugs (for the other gag gift).
  12. Binder’s Twine
  13. Pop rivets
  14. Kraft paper
  15. Rope (right-handed laid three-strand).

The love with which we give our spouses’ Christmas gifts is often shown by the care taken to wrap everything. So I travel to the ends of the earth buying $10000000 worth of gift-wrapping materials for $38.30 worth of presents. Everyone does this, don’t you think?

I haven’t yet figured out how my wife can come into the living room, look at the presents beneath the tree, and instantly know which ones I wrapped. It’s a mystery to me.